*Watch your energy

Being physically or sexually abused can put you out of touch with your body and your own needs, especially if your need to be safe and loved was ignored by the act of incest.

Watching your energy is a way of gauging how you are and what you need.

Do you have a pattern where you forget to eat and get irritable?

Or perhaps you work and work and forget to take breaks until you are burnt out? Maybe you don't listen to your body when you need to take a nap?

Perhaps you wait until you are parched before you recognise you need to drink?

 Noticing you have a pattern like this is the first step towards breaking it. Breaking patterns requires activity. Perhaps you need to stop working even though you feel fine, but before you hit burn out. Or conversely eat before your body feels hungry so you don't feel tired and irritable later on.

Watching you energy can also mean being aware of you emotional needs before the need gets too great. That might mean letting yourself have a feeling before it builds up to a crescendo and takes over. Or giving yourself some alone time even though you have planned and activity with others. Or conversely noticing when you need some company and arranging to see a friend before you feel really lonely.

You may want to devise for yourself a routine to help yourself break a pattern. If you do catch yourself sabotaging a routine then just be gentle, forgive yourself and start again. It doesn't matter how many times you start again, the point being that you do.

 Patterns often are ingrained and take effort to break. Gentle perseverance is the key. Remember you don't have to do this alone and working with a skilled therapist can be invaluable support to breaking patterns.